Kerry Washington’s courageous new memoir, Thicker Than Water, options a number of revelations concerning the Scandal alum’s private life. From her household to her secret abortion, the actress and producer acquired candid with readers. 

Scroll right down to learn the most important revelations from Kerry’s memoir, Thicker Than Water. 

Consuming Dysfunction Struggles

In her ebook, the Django Unchained star revealed she suffered from an consuming dysfunction, in keeping with an excerpt shared by PEOPLE. 

“By the time I got to college, my relationship with food and my body had become a toxic cycle of self-abuse that utilized the tools of starvation, binge eating, body obsession and compulsive exercise,” Kerry wrote. “I would, when seeking to stuff my feelings, stuff my face, secretly binge eating for days at a time, often to the point of physical pain, sometimes to the point of passing out.” 

The Bronx native continued by recalling that she can be “surrounded by dirty dishes, empty food boxes, and sticky leftovers” and “would resolve to rid my body of the comfort I had sought the night before. But not by throwing up; that was too messy — that behavior was for girls with eating disorders, girls who were weak and undisciplined.”

“Instead, my drive toward perfectionism directed me toward control, either by not eating for days at a time, or by exercising for several hours, all in an attempt to right the wrongs of the bingeing,” Kerry revealed. “Though they eventually led to unfathomable levels of depression, food and exercise were at first ideal ways to indulge compulsive behaviors because I could hide them more easily than drugs or alcohol. And that constant manipulation of my own behavior allowed me the illusion of control.  But this excessive swinging between extremes was accompanied by a consistent hatred of my body. If my childhood had been spent in the constant pursuit of being better, the seeds of perfectionism had blossomed into self-contempt.”

A Completely different Organic Father

In one other portion in her memoir, Kerry detailed the second she came upon that her dad, Earl Washington, isn’t her organic father. In 2018, the Primetime Emmy Award nominee was making ready to seem on PBS’ Discovering Your Roots, which provides contributors the prospect to find their ancestors via DNA testing. Earlier than she went on the present, Kerry’s dad and mother, Valerie Washington, determined to inform her that they used an nameless sperm donor to assist them conceive. 

“When I got this information, I was like, ‘Oh. I now know my story,’” Kerry informed the outlet. “I didn’t know what my story was, but I was playing the supporting character in their story.”

Kerry’s Abortion 

Regardless of initially hesitating about sharing this piece of her life with the general public, Kerry defined why she included her abortion story within the ebook. 

“I’m telling my truth about my life, excavating some of my secrets,” she defined to PEOPLE. “I don’t want my not telling it to make anybody think there is shame to be had. … This story had so much to do with my understanding of myself and the world as my career unfolded.”

The memoir particulars a time earlier in Kerry’s performing profession when she skilled an unplanned being pregnant. She opted to get an abortion however used a false title to maintain the process personal. 

“We’re at a moment where it’s really important to be telling the truth about our reproductive choices because some of those choices are being stripped away from us,” Kerry concluded in her interview. 

A Previous Similar-Intercourse Relationship 

“In my adolescent years, I had an ongoing romantic relationship with a girl,” Kerry recalled in her ebook. “My mother asked casually, ‘What’s going on with you two?’ But I called her bluff. ‘Do you really wanna know?’ I said, hoping that she didn’t. Banking on it, in fact. ‘No,’ she said. … I think love comes in a lot of forms. I’ve had other romantic relationships.” 

Childhood Sexual Abuse

With out figuring out who the boy was in her memoir, the American Son actress revealed she was touched inappropriately by one other youngster. 

“He was not a pedophile,” Kerry insisted. “The truth remains that there were things done to me — while I was sleeping, and without my consent — but the perpetrator was a child himself. It is partly my compassion for him that has kept these incidents a secret, locked in the vault of my mind. … I think about that little girl standing in the hallway deciding whether or not she should tell her mommy what was happening to her. I wish she had asked for help sooner ’cause she carried that secrecy and shame and blame for too long.”

Panic Assaults From Her Dad and mom’ Arguments

When she was solely 7 years previous, Kerry skilled extreme panic assaults that had been principally spurred by listening to her dad and mom argue. “I was dizzied with terror, no ground beneath me; it was crazy-making, endless. And sad,” she wrote in her ebook. 

Kerry then informed PEOPLE that when she was a youngster, she “thought [her] parents had a terrible marriage.” 

“Like, why are they together?” she questioned. “And I remember my mom telling me, ‘We had beautiful years before you were even born and during years that you can’t remember.’ I learned that I don’t understand the fullness of their journey together.”